Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

15 February 2010

"I've never voted Tory before..." Tweets galore -

jeffica #ivenevervotedtory because I'm not selfish & believe it's better to help the majority in most need than the few [rich/middle class].

Im_Clarificus #IvenevervotedTory because they're the scummy bastards who introduced section 28, allowing years of bullying and abuse to be ignored.

TanktheTories RT @AndrewSkudder: #ivenevervotedtory because I have never been that drunk on a Thursday

M_J_Murphy #ivenevervotedtory because I don't want 4 million people thrown on the tory scrapheap again

JasonCharlton #ivenevervotedtory because Im not a millionaire and never went to Eton - so they wont want me too anyway

M_J_Murphy #ivenevervotedtory and I never will. You can tell when they're lying because their lips are moving.

Redmanthinks RT @johnaziz: #IvenevervotedLabour and #ivenevervotedtory because i hate mainstream politics and think they're all owned by the same scumbag bankers.

jeffica #ivenevervotedtory 1. Thatcher 2. We're still paying for Thatcher. 3. My kids will still be paying for Thatcher. 4. They allowed Thatcher.

jennycarr1981 #i'venevervotedtory because I know that it is ridiculous to believe that 54% of girls from deprived areas are pregnant by 18.

thevinmeister #i'venevervotedtory and I never will purely because D. Cameron has one of those faces that you would not get bored of punching repeatedly...

Brucemoll indeed #i'venevervotedtory - and would rather poke a stick in my eye than do so

ThegoodBuck #I'venevervotedtory because I have a social conscience. Because I like having hospitals. Because fascism is so passe.

http://twitter.com/#search?q=i%27venevervotedtory


http://ivenevervotedtory.wordpress.com/


http://www.facebook.com/pages/Never-Voted-Tory-Never-Will/306522471945?v=wall#!/pages/Never-Voted-Tory-Never-Will/306522471945?v=wall

"I've never voted Tory before..."


What a day of fuck-ups, set-ups and miss placed decimal points. The Tory party seem to be messing about on purpose these days. 54% or 5.4%, who cares? It's only an important social policy announcement. How about the expensive advertising campaign paid for by the Ashcroft millions? Oh that seems to be going according to plan, does it not? You sure? I keep seeing them all over the place so they must be popular? Shit. I just read one. Sack the PR company.

http://liberalconspiracy.org/2010/02/15/tories-labour-compete-over-ivenevervotetory-parody/
http://liberalconspiracy.org/2010/02/15/tories-should-join-us-in-the-real-world/


The reaction on Twitter has been equally hilarious. Many hundreds of thousands of brilliantly funny and witty responses to the question - I've never voted Tory because... (a self-created fuck-up from Tory HQ)

http://mydavidcameron.com/tory


Absolutely brilliant spoofs on this site. The first one with George Osborne, and his idiots guide to economics, takes some beating for the award of - 'It's funny because it's true'.

12 February 2010

Stan-hope of the day - Would you believe in Christianity?


"If you believed in eternal life after death, then why do you wear a seat-belt."

11 February 2010

Top ten things on Sarah Palin's Hand - From Liberal Values


With everyone talking about Sarah Palin’s crib notes on her hand, I would like to present The Top Ten Things Written on Sarah Palin’s Hand (after passing them through a spell checker). I know this is a lot of stuff to fit on a hand, but Palin has practice at this. After all, this is how she passed her tests in college.

10. Will cut taxes & reduce deficit at same time after elected

9. 12345 (My secret password for all internet sites)

8. Foreign Policy Experience–Can See Russia from Alaska

7. Obama is a Socialist (Note to self: look up what “socialist” means)

6. Uphold the Constitution (Note to self: must read the Constitution some day)

5. Ask for divine intervention from God when have questions about what government should do

4. Stay away from explaining about dinosaurs and people–audience often laughs at me when I talk about this unless all Republicans

3. Explain how it is cold outside, proving global warming is a hoax

2. Make sure not to use any Purell on hand before speech

1. If not listed here, just say whatever a Maverick would say

http://liberalvaluesblog.com/?p=12154

But the funniest comment by far is made by someone below the post itself - and made me nearly die with laughter. I had to go to the hospital to recover from the near-death experience caused by the laughter generated by this comment.

"WHO CROSSES OUT STUFF ON THEIR HAND????" - Palin is dumb as a brick.

Stan-hope of the day 2 (bonus edition) - Freedom, the pledge of allegiance and liberty



08 February 2010

Tower Block of Commons - Series 1 Episode 2 - Comment

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/tower-block-of-commons/episode-guide/series-1/episode-2

(Watch this is you already haven't.)

Last week George wrote a small article on the first episode, made into the largest article in the history of Watching With George by other comments taken from the channel four website.

Shocked, ashamed, reflective, sometimes individually, sometimes all at the same time, readers (if I have any), these are a brief snippet of emotions you will feel if you have watched this series so far. At first, with my anti-Tory, anti-establishment, anti-politicians-if-I'm-honest, attitude; I expected to be laughing with anger at the Tories, who would obviously fail to empathise with any of the commoners, introducing to the watching audience their bigoted perceptions, free market economic ideas about how to solve the 'council estate problems', and undoubtedly look down upon the 'scratter's and chav's' with disdain. How I was wrong. How my judgement and own bigoted views were highlighted.

The Tory, Tim Loughton, was astounding. Honestly; was so impressed by his attitude, his level of understanding, his empathy. Not that Tory-ism is the answer, but if this guy was prime minister, it wouldn't be all bad.

The Labour MP, on the other hand, was a wanker (my own bigoted views re-surfacing). He has no clue about his own real-life, it seems, never mind anyone else's. He takes his own wife for granted, he thinks the 'women's' place is in the home, he assumes that being a mum is an easy job and refuses to take any real part in the idea behind the show. Keeping his little affluent perk's, refusing to take part in the show in the first place without being allowed to bring along his wife, and then (some would say to his credit*) paying for a meal for his 'guests' to discuss politics.

Mark Oaten was somewhat accosted by the women he was staying with for suggesting she was wrong to spend £42 on cigarettes, when she later found out he had (aside from the money for interest re-payments) spent £110 on three irons on his expenses forms. He then claimed that the situation was 'awkward' when asked about his own affluent lifestyle, belongings, property and earnings. Really? That must be really hard, that feeling 'awkward' thingy.

I am going to save the other MP involved, Nadine Dorries, till the next episode, in the interest of fair and balanced bullshit. Although check this out, because I cannot write a political article without criticising the Tories in some way, it goes against my religion.


*This would have had far more effect if he had managed to do this on a budget, without the ongoing help of his wife.

**Will hopefully add some comments from the channel four website tomorrow, they do not appear to be allowing any at the time of writing. You have to love the freedom of spontaneous speech and vented, raging anger, that I am sure some would have felt after watching it.

***In the spirit of 'good' Tories - Here is what appears to be the other one.

SPANISH RESIDENT on Tuesday, February 09, 2010 at 12:05
I thoroughly enjoyed the Tower Block of Commons last night- a very well balanced documentary, I thought. I watched in awe as the residents whined about how little money thet had to live on despite the fact they bought cigarettes and marijuana, kept pets and had their nails done!! I live in a tiny traditional Catalan village and have done so for ten years now. Here there is no benefit system- if you hit hard times you can take out what you put in. If you dont work, you dont eat- it really is that simple.The expectation is for families to help through troubled times- if they cannot the governemt has various schemes to help. My friend is a single mother who has joined the army where she is given free accommodation and child care and has a sense of pride and hope as well as studying and training for her future. We are facing a crisis here in Spain as unemployment levels rise-our tiny village creates posts for people suffering hardship- they are given a broom and sweep the streets for their pay and they do so with pride. I am appalled at the decline in values and standards in UK now and could not or would not return to live in Britain. When will the benefit system be addressed? I hope the MPs who endured the hardships of living as these people do as well as having to be criticised for actually working, are allowed to give the viewers an open and honest evaluation of what they relly feel- this could be a very interesting ptrogramme. Come on Britain, find your spirit again. Create job opportunities for everyone on benefits- community work would be a start- the welfare system was created to offer a helping hand and should not be a way of life-and in my opinion benefits should not be paid to feed pets and buy cigarettes. I grew up in a council estate as did many of my friends- our parents worked and did whatever was needed to provide for us. We had very little in terms of posessions though I did notice most of the homes on the programme had flat screen televisions. I pray some MP finds the strength to address this abuse and get Britain back to being GREAT again. Until then, I am staying here, thank you.
JENNA MAC on Tuesday, February 09, 2010 at 13:46
Havn't the two ladies who Nadine Dorries stayed with heard of contraception? Why bring more children into poverty (they had eight between them). These people can afford fags, dogs and gameboys but don't have beds. The Jeremy Kyle generation are alive and well.
PENNY on Tuesday, February 09, 2010 at 00:27
Plse dont vote tory just coz new labour are bad, tories will be worse than maggie thatcher if they get in. that means things will only get worse. benefits are too low to live on. it should be a basic human right to be able to feed yourself and keep warm without having to choose between the two. even working people cant afford to live on minimum slave wages. no one should be paid less than £15 per hour. greedy bankers get bailed out, MP's fiddle their expenses. this system sucks. people should start rebelling more. we want a true democracy ie of by and for the people. not for corporations banks and m.p's. wish i had the money to go live in an eco village and be self sufficient. its the only way i can see that you can get freedom in this police state poverty ridden britain. politicians have sold us down the river. the rih get richer and the poor get poorer. they want us all to die off. to die a slow death of malnutrition and hypothermia coz we cant afford a decent meal or to heat our homes. dorry but i think its going to get worse not better. modern life is crap unless youre well off. WHERES THE HELP FOR US POOR IN BRITAIN? WHY CANT WE GET FOOD AID?
ROBYN MCKENZIE on Tuesday, February 09, 2010 at 00:07
MPs you should try living on benefits for at least 6months. Some of us are too sick to work. key or card meters for electricity and gas. sit in a cold unheated flat unable to feel well coz youre cold and hungry coz you cant afford the bills. Try walking up the stairs whilst junkies are shooting up leaving their human waste, blood urine faeces, remnants of junk food and bear cans that you have to step over to get to your door. you MPs make me sick. you do nothing to help us you just tell us we're scroungers when you put your hand in the coffers and get away with it. Forcing us to live in poverty is a crime against our human rights. no one should have to live on less than £130 per week. benfits are too low. its a pittance. i wish the british public would rebel like the french. no one should go hungry in britain we're supposed to be a rich country, but therse people who miss meals every day coz they cant afford it. We need more progs like this. EXPOSE THE POVERTY IN BRITAIN - when is oxfam going to give us food parcels?
JOANNIE on Monday, February 08, 2010 at 23:29
As a (54 year young)life-long resident of Newham, I find this series very watchable. Bad housing, indifferent councils and out-of-touch MP's have always been with us (check the records Channel4!). The scary fact is that in East London, much of the pre-war slums were destroyed not by Government initiatives, but by WAR!! Better housing conditions and greater social awareness came about, again as the result of, you've guessed it, WAR! In short, politicians of all parties were faced with a choice - social upheaval or social anarchy. Homeless people were initially housed in prefabs, some of which still exist today until better housing was built. It is a sad, sad day for the UK when our Right Honourable members are unable to learn from recent history. Even more important, the Ronan Point disaster in Canning Town (May 1968) should have sent out a stark message that Tower Blocks were not the answer for social housing, any more than the old tenements they replaced, yet still they build them. Greater onus should be placed on councils to maintain their housing stock, and stricter tenancy agreements would strike the balance between tenant and council rights & responsibilities. Councils need to have the machinery in place for tenants who are suddenly affected by financial hardship, without making them jump through impossible hoops. Equally, tenants must agree to keep their properties clean, tidy and not sub-let them out. These 4 MP's are to be applauded because to a greater or lesser extent, they have become involved. They are doing something every MP, every councillor, and social worker should do - go and live at the sharp end of the societies they work among and represent for at least a month. Make them survive on the benefits, make them jump through the hoops, make them queue up at council offices and jobcentres. Whilst I am not holding my breath as to the extent this series will change lives on these estates, it might just make the 3 major parties rething their coming manifestos

The best comment, in the humble opinion of George, is the one directly above. Please read it. MPs and Council estate tenants alike.



07 February 2010

The Podcast Four - Episode 11 - Teaching. Tea? Ching!

http://podcastfour.blogspot.com/2010/02/podcast-0011-070210-teaching-tea-ching.html

This week the discussion basis was, “Teaching and lecturing.” We had some facts that we wanted to give out, thereby teaching our international audience.

Topics discussed;

Touch wood(E), heartbreaking story, Alvin review, George confirmed not peado, UK jocks and football fucks, chess? Hockey ideas, fatties getting fatter, Katona again, George’s plea, 2 email test, The Fuse is mentioned, ramble, fails, serial killers, how to spot said killers, dot com for hack film, losing faith in the Office US, DVD question, impression time, back to killers, birthday - I can forgive but not forget - or forgive, would you go back? Random boners, gambling wages, bragging 3 cards, respect, top 3 British National Pricks, replacing DNA, JapRapeWormRapeGarden, ramble, Fox fucking News, UK vs. USA in terrorness - UK wins, 7 hours asking, “are you a terrorist?” And finally….nothing, some exam answers, speaking can be hard, quiz show contest finally exposed- you’re welcome, Who Wants to be Noel Edmonds, 1 million fails, end.

06 February 2010

Stewart Vs O'Reilly - Uncut!

http://gawker.com/5465299/im-not-saying-your-mothers-a-whore-how-fox-news-censored-jon-stewart-vs-bill-oreilly

Or http://liberalvaluesblog.com/?p=12099 Videos available on both.



Brilliant analysis from 'Gawker'.

Fox News has generously placed the full, unedited conversation between Bill O'Reilly and Jon Stewart online, so we can see precisely how unfairly and deviously Fox edited the interview in order to weaken Stewart's case: A lot!

Last night on his show—Part Two of a ludicrously overhyped "faceoff" between O'Reilly and Stewart in which Stewart attempted, among other things, to present a critique of Fox as a fear-mongering GOP messaging operation—O'Reilly boasted that his edit of their 42-minute interview for broadcast was "a fair cut" and invited viewers to have a look at the unedited version online to judge for themselves: "Some of these idiots in the press who hate us, 'O'Reilly cut the interview to make Stewart look'—OK, all of that is bull. It's a fair cut. And then when you watch the cut and watch the whole interview you'll see it."

So we took him up on the offer, and guess what? If by "fair cut" O'Reilly means "cut in a manner that left some of Stewart's best lines, most effective arguments, and most convincing evidence out of the interview and hidden from the broadcast audience," then he's absolutely right.

Here's the best exchange of the whole interview, in which Stewart gets O'Reilly to admit that he thinks Barack Obama believes in "tyranny and socialism," and then asks him why Obama's most generous spending has been to bail out banks. He closed with this unanswerable question: "How many tyrants do you know that really suffer because they can't get cloture?" O'Reilly rejoindered with a lame joke about NBC, because what else could he do? None of this made the air:

05 February 2010

Charlie Brooker - How to report the news


Highest rated video in any genre? That's not bad Brooker, but are you the 8th most subscribed comedy channel on Youtube? No your not, not like The Podcast Four, keep trying mate.


Or watch The Podcast Four - http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePodcastFour